Final Destination: Bloodlines - A Train Wreck of a Sequel
Final Destination: Bloodlines Official Movie Poster (Source: Credit Warner Bros/ Discovery)
Table of Contents
- A 16-Year Wait for... This?
- Original Sin vs. Bloodlines' Intro Blunder
- The "Vision": A CGI Nightmare
- Stephanie's Dreams: Dropped and Forgotten
- Meet the "Family": One-Dimensional and Unlikable
- Iris's Baffling "Sacrifice"
- Death Comes to the Barbecue
- Death's Design or Lazy Writing?
- Cousin Manchild's Tattoo Trauma (and Fake-Outs)
- The Garbage Truck Gorefest
- Plot Twists and Character Drops
- A Legend Appears: Tony Todd as Bloodworth
- The MRI Massacre
- RV of Doom and a Watery Grave
- The Final, Utterly Pointless Derailment
- Conclusion: Hollywood Hates Its Legacy
A 16-Year Wait for... This?
Well, let's get into it. Brother, this guy stinks. Final Destination: Bloodlines is either a parody of a Final Destination movie or has to be one of the worst looking, written, and acted Final Destination movies ever made. Yes, I am also including The Final Destination. And the way I can easily justify that statement is this movie is 16 years older than that movie, which the creators admitted they weren't taking seriously. 16 years! That's an age gap so long you could legally [bleep] it here in the UK. So after the 16-year wait, has it been worth it for final destination: bloodlines full movie? Well, if you can tell from my tone of voice and what the words that were coming out of my mouth were saying, no. No, it wasn't. It should have been left in the grave.
Original Sin vs. Bloodlines' Intro Blunder
As I had the opportunity to see both Final Destination 1 back in 2000 (25 years ago, [bleep] I am old) and this piece of [bleep] back to back, I got to compare both intro scenes. Not the first big set piece, just the intro that is meant to introduce the themes, the motif of the film and create a sense of dread. Final Destination 1's intro, which came out 25 years ago, visually explored something foreboding. We didn't know what it was, but it was Death. Through visual medium, normal everyday objects took on a sinister appearance. The art of visualization these days is dead. Bloodlines' intro? Just railroad tracks. What would you rather? Something building dread or railroad tracks?
Image credit: New Line Cinema
The "Vision": A CGI Nightmare
The first incident, timeline-wise, takes us back to what feels like a Disney Doctor Who cutscene from the 60s. Seriously, the scene looks so fake. Our "not main character," Iris, is on a date. The tower is over capacity, completed 5 months early, one elevator, one staircase, and a floor made of [bleep] sugar glass. Believability is out the window. A kid throwing pennies leads to a gas buildup. The glass floor cracks, people fall, fire happens (laughably bad stun), the building leans, a piano falls, and Iris and young Bloodworth fall to their deaths after skin pulls from her finger. Or so we think...
Stephanie's Dreams: Dropped and Forgotten
We then cut to Stephanie, our *actual* main character (sort of), having a dream in class about this tower incident. She's been having them frequently, it's affecting her grades... and then this entire plot point is completely dropped after two scenes. It doesn't make sense because we find out the tower disaster never actually happened; Iris saved everyone. So why is Stephanie getting these dreams in 2025? Couldn't she [bleep] Google it and find out the disaster never happened? None of that is actually done. I'm thinking more into this than the writers did.
Meet the "Family": One-Dimensional and Unlikable
Stephanie decides to leave college (so important!) and go home. We meet her two-parted family. The Multicultural Side: An effeminate dad ("Nah, I don't bother" in a soft gay voice) and an effeminate brother with painted nails (challenging gender stereotypes, apparently). The All-Whites: Not a single likable or even quarterly-developed character. We have:
- Manchild cousin: Takes nothing seriously, selfish piece of [bleep].
- Gay Cousin: Somewhat caring (has a pet turtle), probably the most unoffensive, but a nothing character. Deadly allergic to peanuts (FORESHADOWING!).
- [Bleep] Cousin: A [bleep] and a cousin. Great writing.
- Dismissive Uncle and Aunt: The aunt barely helps kick off the plot.
Iris's Baffling "Sacrifice"
Stephanie visits her estranged grandmother, Iris, who has shut herself away to save her family (sound familiar?). Iris explains she saved everyone in the CGI tower, but their families were wiped out. Hers is safe because she's alive. REMEMBER THAT. Death tries its old tricks (magnifying glass, fire extinguisher), Iris gives Stephanie a book of [bleep], then steps outside and says, "Seeing is believing," allowing death to kill her via a pole through her [bleep] mouth in front of her granddaughter she just met. She spent ages trying to save her family by staying alive, then one meeting and "Fuck it, better get learning. I am allowing death and its pronouns to now go after you." Even if she has cancer, surely that's better than this! Death is a punchline, not a crescendo.
Death Comes to the Barbecue
Iris's funeral. Stephanie's estranged mother shows up. Surface-level family drama ensues. Then, a barbecue. A glass breaks into the ice (don't worry, no one swallows it). Gay cousin and effeminate brother bounce on a trampoline with a rake underneath. Estranged mom moves the rake (survival instinct!). [Bleep] sister throws a drink where the glass is. Stephanie realizes Iris's book predicted this. Uncle walks over, stands on the glass, falls, as the rake falls on a lawnmower, which does a cool wheelie and lands in his face. He doesn't even put his hands up. Great characters.
Death's Design or Lazy Writing?
Steph goes full conspiracy mode, taping Iris's book pages to the wall, explaining Death's rules: oldest to youngest. Uncle's side first (Manchild, [bleep] cousin, gay cousin), then estranged mom, Stephanie, effeminate brother. All those Iris saved from the non-existent tower disaster had families who died tragically. Now it's their turn because Iris decided, "Nah, [bleep] it."
Cousin Manchild's Tattoo Trauma (and Fake-Outs)
The trailer scene: Cousin Manchild piercing a tongue (hygiene nightmare!), then tattooing "DAD" on himself (a tiny shred of emotion, quickly extinguished). Chain of events: nose ring caught by hook, pulls him up, flammable liquid on fire below. He smashes a display, gets nose ring free, lands on glass, burns hand. Implied explosion. Next day? He's alive! Walks backward, a post van nowhere near him (bad fake-out). This movie becomes a parody. Stephanie points out dangers: tree branch, leaf blower, kids playing football. Manchild gets hit by the ball. Garbage truck in background.
The Garbage Truck Gorefest
Cousin [Bleep] is running, gets hit by the ball, falls into a bin collected by the garbage truck (driver on a fake Tinder – cheap, lazy writing). Steph climbs to pull her out. Boys stop the truck. Steph screams, "It's not your turn to die!" as the crusher hits [Bleep] cousin's armpit/head. Looks like a puffer fish. Cheesy, cheap, over-the-top gore. Head and arm severed, Steph holds the arm. This movie doesn't take itself seriously. It's just shock value.
Plot Twists and Character Drops
Why was Manchild immune? Turns out Aunt cheated, he's not part of the bloodline. Aunt didn't say anything, so her daughter's death is on her. Oh well. Aunt is then dropped from the movie. Manchild is just a manchild stereotype. Gay cousin is next on Iris's cheat-code book of [bleep]. Remember the peanut allergy?
A Legend Appears: Tony Todd as Bloodworth
Stephanie, estranged mom, effeminate brother, and gay cousin go to a hospital to find "JB," one of Iris's survivor contacts. They walk into a morgue (apparently public watch parties now) and meet John Bloodsworth (Tony Todd!). He was the kid Iris "saved" in the vision. He explains the rules: kill someone and take their life, or die. He funded Iris's cancer meds, has his own medical condition, and accepts his fate. This scene breaks continuity with Final Destination 2 where Kimberly broke the cycle (though the farm boy dying later contradicts that). This was Tony Todd's final movie, I believe (he passed in 2024). It was great to see him, but sad this was a last performance. Rest in peace, sir. Your work (Candyman, Bloodsworth) will always be remembered. Bloodworth effectively says: accept your fate, live life to the fullest. A good message, shame it's in this movie.
Tony Todd as Bloodworth (Source: wikipedia)
The MRI Massacre
Manchild and gay cousin decide gay cousin should eat a peanut bar, die, and be revived. Vending machine comedy, they get the bar, breaking a spring. They go to an MRI room. It gets switched on, goes into overdrive. Manchild's phone gives it "permission." Gay cousin eats peanut butter, face swells. Manchild's piercings (earrings, nose, nipple, [bleep] ring – yes, Prince Albert) get pulled. He's bent backward into the machine. Gay cousin gets his EpiPen, saves himself. Nurse opens door, loosening items. But the broken spring from the vending machine impales gay cousin's face. Least offensive character, dead.
RV of Doom and a Watery Grave
Mom, effeminate brother, Stephanie drive to Iris's house in an RV. Mom forgets how to drive, almost hits a log truck (FD2 callback, bad writing). They smash through gates, RV wheel dangles over water. Stephanie's seatbelt breaks. Mom and brother go to house, it's filled with gas, explodes. Mom thrown, brother almost crushed. Power line dangles. Mom saves son, gets crushed. No respect for characters. Effeminate brother tries to save drowning Stephanie with a pocketknife, cuts his finger. Screen cuts to black. Somehow, he saves her, gives CPR. Whatever.
The Final, Utterly Pointless Derailment
The real ending. Effeminate brother takes Jenny (dressed like young Iris) to prom. Red car, train tracks from intro. Old lady from hospital drops a penny, stops tracks clicking (a penny?!). Train derails, chases them. It stops. Instead of moving, they stay close. Train shunts, logs from a carriage (FD2 again!) obliterate them. Movie ends. All bloodline dead. Aunt who? Effeminate dad who? Pointless.
Conclusion: Hollywood Hates Its Legacy
After a 16-year gap, this is what they came up with for final destination: bloodlines full movie. Modern Hollywood hates what came before because they can't do better. So they mock and destroy IPs. Final Destination: Bloodlines is another hateful killing of something loved. This fully scripted review is so you don't waste your money or time. It's one of the worst movies I've seen. Polished like a CGI Doctor Who episode, kills are over-the-top nonsense, story makes no sense, screws its own lore, no buildup. It's like shooting your load two pumps in: disappointing. They could leave it another 16 years, or get better writers to bring back legacy characters (Kimberly, Alex Browning). For me, Bloodlines is an offshoot. I hope it doesn't get a sequel. We need to point out when things just aren't working.
What are your thoughts on Final Destination: Bloodlines? Have you seen it? Let us know in the comments below!
Tags:
Final Destination, Bloodlines, Horror Movie, Movie Review, Sequel, Tony Todd, Final Destination: Bloodlines full movie, Bad Movies, CGI, Horror Franchise, Disappointment
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